I'm not going to write in here often..but for now it's FRIENDS ONLY..
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mood:  contemplative
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Hey. New Journal.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) __peachez
Add me..and if I like you..I'll add you back =)
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mood:  calm
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I cannot stand being in school one more day longer. I hate school..I just wish I have something else to live for. There are things I have in mind of doing however, some of those choices wouldn't be so smart. This morning I woke up for school in a weird mood. I don't know what the deal was, or still is because I'm pretty much still in that mood. =\
I performed a little play for "The Crucible" in English class today. It went alright. I was "Beyonce the Bird" since we made up other characters. LOL Then around 10am(ish) my dad came to the school to have a little meeting with my guidance couselor (Mrs. Wilson). It was going okay at first but then my dad's attitude kicked in and I couldn't stand sitting right next to him in the same room. I wanted to slap him out of it and just tell him that I'm NOT going to the school he wants me to go to. All the school does though is put so much pressure on you going to college and doing things ASAP..when really you should just calm down about everything and take things step by step. Those people in school who sponsor colleges though really imprinted in my head that I need to get things done. (Which I do but I need some extra help from the parents..especially my mom..she's my biggest supporter in school...well so is my dad). After the meeting I wanted to go home, I couldn't last 4 or some odd hours in school much longer. I DESPISE IT. =\
Mikey is moving to Texas. I'm so fucking upset. He was such a cool kid and I just met him a week or two ago...and now he has to go? Wtf?!? People are coming in and out of my life like crazy. I just wish the same people could stay with me for years and years. You know what I mean? It's 12:30 in the afternoon and I'm waiting for Gabby to come over. We're going to hang out smoke a lot of cigs and just talk. Hopefully Mikey can get a ride over here because he wanted to chill too. =] Well I guess I'm out ..I'm gunna clean up a bit before Gabby comes. --deuce deuce--
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mood:  blah
music: Classical music..hahaha
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Holy shiiiit. I'm so tired! I can't get enough of these 5 day weekends. They are the best =) Here's a little overview of what I've done =\ Howww boring:
Friday: Hung out with Gabby the wholleee day <3 Went all the way down to Carol City (uh huh..the real ghetto and tryed to get something pierced since a friend of mine goes there underage. Unfortunately they didn't do it anymore and we went there all for nothing. It was definetly an adventure though =] Went back to Gabby's house. Stole a bottle of Captain Morgan Rum (my favoritttee) and rum runners (my favorite too LOL). Went back to my house pretty early and tryed making the runners with a bowl of ice and yeah it didn't turn out too well. Met up with Mikey and smoked a hell of a lot of trees. Mhhmmm <333 We also met up with Bailey and Brian (her friend) and went over to Town center. Met up with Jamiee cross and some other people. Came back to my house smoked another l` and went in for the night. How fucking productive!
Saturday: Worked a lot in the morning...made madd tips. Came home did a few errands and then Bailey came over..then Dana =) Bailey went to baby sitting..and then Dana and I met up with someone and I took a bar <333 Mhmm gotta love them =] Thennnn met up with Joker and Cuba for a bit at the citgo gas station. Rafael and I met up since I needed to get something and smoked a few bowls. Went all the way to Pembroke Pines with Lacy (what a nice girl!) and smoked some "bubblegum" shit. It was pretty good because for the rest of the nightttt I couldn't remember shiit! But the highlight of that night had to be when the three of us..me, Dana and Bailey started rolling a blunt in front of the house with our trees. LOL It was great. I don't remember how long it took..I don't even remember smoking. HA I love nights like that =] Past out that night and of course next morning I was an hour and half late for work. =\ (I didn't get in trouble though thank god!)
Sunday: Worked till about 12ish and Gabby picked me up from work. Got her some free breakfast and then hung out at my house for a little until we decided to pick up Mikey. =) Went over to Nicole's house in Emerald Estates and smoked a bowl and an 'l. It was niceee <33 =] Spent the rest of the day with Mikey and her and then we decided to see a movie. (Me and Gabby). We went to Weston 8 (got free food from Stephanie because she is the coooolest) and saw "Cursed"..it was pretty fucking stupid. Came home and next day was a skip dayyyy =)
Monday: Woke up for school and ended up going to Ryan's house and passing out for a little until Joker and Cuba came and picked me up. We went all the way to Hialeah to Cuba's and chilled for a little. Got back to Ryan's and smoked all day. I really don't remember much..
Tuesday: Today woke up and went to Ryan's. Cashed my check bought some herb and smoked all day. I was with Gabby and somewhat with Bailey most of the day @ Ryan's. It was pretty cool. But I'm tired now and I have school tomorrow which sucks so I'm going to rest. =] peaccceee
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mood:  lazy
music: Nirvanna- Nevermind
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i feel completely sick...
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mood:  nauseated
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I always never felt like I was meant to be here. I hate this feeling. I feel as if I have no-one and it hurts so much. I mean I talk to people and they say they've never met anyone like me and I'm worth living..but the way I feel it's so hard to get those thoughts away. Iwish I could meet just that one person who will make me feel good. I've lost so many people in the past and I don't know who to trust anymore. I might be going to Israel this summer (maybe with my dad..but hopefully I'll go alone).. People tell me that getting away won't do anything but I still have hope. I want to experience new things, meet new people go to exotic places. Life is too short.
These past few nights have been horrible. Words cannot even explain how bad I've been feeling. I almost died and scared my parents to death I don't know what to do anymore. My mom and I had a serious talk and she wanted to send me to a rehabilitation center. I told her it would make me worse..because it WILL! Withdrawl symptoms suck ass and I hate going through it. I've actually been going through them right now for the past few months and it has not been easy. I try to get my mind off things by doing these drugs but of course they don't work. I know so many people who've come in and out of jail and says it's the worse place ever. I don't want to end up like that. A crackhead or whatnot. People might think it's "cool" to do things like smoke and crap but it's really not. I never thought it was "cool"...I did it for other reasons. I was trying to kill myself slowly and I've always failed. God wants me here for some odd reason and he won't let me go. Maybe I really do have things to offer in this world..but right now I'm not feeling it. I need to save up money from my work..I volunteer at a hospital so that is good on my resume` for college and then I have to get up my grades @ school. I'm honestly just not feeling school right now. It's so boring with my classes. I'm just making it and I'm not even trying. =\
I stayed home from school today to read and catch up on some work from school. I can't even concentrate. My mom is coming home soon and I'm hoping we can have a talk =) She is the only one I have right now and I'm so grateful for having an understanding mother like her. I don't know where i would be without that woman. =\ I need to get my cell phone back soI'm going to the police station later to file a report because the other one I did didn't go through. =\ My insurance on my phone sucks ass. If anyone has a EXTRA Metro PCS phone they want to sell let me know ASAP..But as of now I'm off to rest and wait for my mom to come home. I want to go out to eat <333 =]
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mood:  depressed
music: absolutely nothing...the silence is killing me
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i almost died last night....literally
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Yesterday was awesome. I felt so good before I went into work and it was just great <3 In my other entry it said I was feeling icky but I ended up going to Ryan's house before work and smoking 2 blunts PLUS a bowl was going around. Mhhhmm..<3 I love that reefer. I ended up getting reallyyyy zooded and had to go to work. Got to work and had fun stocking up clown cones and such <3 Ate Subway and a blast from Baskin Robbins <3 Yummm..but anywho we closed like 10 minutes earlier. It was s0o0o incredibly slow for a Friday night..(hopefully tonight will be too)..made 5$ in tips and rode home with my co-worker. Called up Ryan when I got home, he was on his way home from Plantation..so he came home and I smoked a little before and thennn got some munchies @ the Citgo. I got a free pack of Black -n- Milds so all was good <3
Today I have no exact plans..I woke up early..I don't know why, and my mom is going to Delray beach to visit her friend. Should I stay here with the house alone..? Or should I go up there with her? I have work later on so no matter what she has to be home to give me a ride. =\ Dammet I wish she'd just trust me with the house alone for like a few nights..I mean I wouldn't have any parties..(haaa yeah right). But I might go with her to Delray if there isn't anything to do. I work today I think 7-close and then I need to meet up with Gabby <3 I loveee you babee...but I'm starting to not like someone (a lot). They're annoying and the bitching has to stop, LOL =\ Oh well I think I'm going to Dunkin Donuts now to get some munchkins since I have the munchhieees =] xoxo
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mood:  hungry
music: my damn bird chirping! =P
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I feel like complete crap. Lonely and depressed combination isn't too good. I need to keep myself busier with different things. I guess a start is making that money @ work. =\ I need my cell phone back ASAP! I want a car. I need so many different things right now and some of those things I just can't have =(
I have to concentrate like 95% of my time to school, but it's just not happening. My mind just wanders elsewhere and it pretty much sucks. I need to get my grade up in Math (algerbra II) and it's so hard because I have such a stupid teacher. I think I'm okayyy in Safra's class for English and in American History I think I'm alright. =\ I need those A's!!!
I have $ and I need to get some herbbbb. Like a half 'e' or something. I work tonight till close so after that I will need it. =\ I'm going to get ready so if anyone wants to chill you know my house number =) <333
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mood:  lonely
music: mr. loneeeleyyyy =(
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high